We Will Fall Together [Alexander!XD]

[jordan]

After the discussion with Grant had finally settled in Jordan's now overly nauseated at the thought of him mind, Alexander seemed like the next logical stop. He was her best friend. He was always there. And it it really had nothing to do with the fact that she was in love with him. It was actually a reason she had considered not going to him. That she'd let it cloud her mind. Or worst of all let it slip. But if she decided not to tell him that could end a horrendously large amount worse. So, Alex it had to be. What hadn't occurred to the young Slytherin was how. It seemed simple in plan, go get him from his common room and talk. Problem? She couldn't get in. And there didn't seemed to be anyone coming in and out.

"Damn book kids," she mumbled, leaning against the cold wall and letting herself gently slide down it into a seated position. Her legs instinctively curled up so her chin rested on her knees and out of her own comfort she had wrapped her arms around them. And now she simply had to wait until either Alexander came out or another Ravenclaw was entering the common room. And that implied a lot of thinking time. Which she honestly couldn't complain about. At least when her thoughts were more in order the conversation would be a lot smoother and involve a lot less crying.

Grant had seemed...well...Grant was cute. And he pissed her dad off. And he was popular. Not to mention it didn't seem like herself and Alexander were never going to be more than friends. So it seemed worth it. Seemed was always the word Jordan found herself looking back on and regretting not making sure it was a definitely. Then the headache began. He wanted her and she didn't want him. Or visa-versa. Not to say that the entire relationship was bad. There'd definitely been good times. It just didn't seem worth the headache. None of it, even presently, seemed to be worth the headache. But in comparison, to the pining a far for her best friend while being alone, it didn't seem to bad.

But then there was Alexander. Her best friend. And no doubt he was always going to be just her best friend. How she hated that word. Alexander...in Jordan's eyes he was perfect. Amazing. Fantastic. Even his flaws only seemed to succeed in making him more perfect. And he kept helping her. Even after telling her that Grant wasn't worth it and that she shouldn't have slept with him. Even after adamantly fighting her on the decisions she had made, Alexander was still there. And every day it was beginning to hurt more and more that he'd never love her quite the same way that she loved him.

Sighing loudly, she blew a chunk of escaping bang out her eye. She just wanted Alexander. If she had him, had him the way she wanted him I mean, than everything might just seem less bothersome. His arms always made her feel so safe, even in just a friendly hug, he could just make everything better. And many times she'd found herself inching up closer, reaching her lips towards his before conscious thought kicked in and she jerked away with some silly excuse. But it was all for not and Jordan was beginning to think it was time to accept that.

"I just love you so much, Alex," she breathed, almost inaudibly to herself as she continued to wait for her best friend and the object of her entire affection.

[Alexander Milano]

Once again Alexander found his mind on Jordan; his best friend and the person he had fallen all that time ago. Yet she was with Grant, he didn’t deserve her, she was too good for him, she deserved better. Alex wanted to see her happy even if it was not with him. No matter how much he wanted to focus on his book, it seemed that the fates had different ideas for him today and it was driving him to the point of insanity. Alexander could often sit and just watch Jordan enjoy herself; it would bring a smile to his face – she was his panoramic view – there was no other perfection. Why did hormones have to be the enemy? They drove him insane. At this moment, he was sat in the common room, trying to read the book they had been assigned, but his mind kept filling with other ideas, most of which were of his best friend. Why did life have to seem so complicated? Jordan was a beautiful contradiction in his eyes. She was a Slytherin and yet showed so much compassion. She striked that perfect balance. Alex was sure that she could not see how amazing she was to him, she was his breathing hope.

Closing the book with a snap, he was given a look from the other Ravencalw’s but he did not particularly care at the moment. His mind would let him enjoy the book, it felt like he had the weight of the entire world of his shoulders. But it felt too heavy, he wanted to march down to the Slytherin common room and tell Jordan just how he felt. To hell with the rest of Hogwarts, his intention towards her were honourable unlike this Grant. Alexander did not understand, but he knew that it was not his business to get involved, even if it was killing hjim just watching from the side-line."

Alexander held his head in his hands, why did she have invade his mind at every chance. Looking back, he tried to talk himself into thinking that it was a stupid crush, that they were too different to even consider to being together. That had lasted only a day. He was not willing to let her go and let her vanish from his eyes, but he was scared to let her know how he felt. He was not a brave man. Alexander had even talked with his mother Casta about Jordan. He could talk to her about anything, and she had told him to fight for her and not have any regrets. But how could he compete with Grant, the Slytherin Prince. Standing up quickly, he seemed to make his way out of the common room, before stopping prompting and leaning against the wall. He had no idea where he would go, he really didn’t care. It was the tip of the iceberg, he had never felt this way for anyone in his life and he had no idea what he could do about it. Alexander just punched the wall in frustration; it was as if he had spent his entire life waiting for her. She was within reach and yet so far away from. He felt at the point of oblivion.

The times he had noticed her get closer to him, his hopes then became dashed when she pulled away as if she had been burnt. It felt something pull him as if he needed to leave the common room, to clear his thoughts. To find the object of his affection, even if he only be a friend in her life, then he would settle. Once more he ran a hand down his face – to compose himself and to stop his anger and any tears falling. Though he did not want to admit it to himself, he knew that if it got much more serious between Jordan and Grant – he would lose her and there would be nothing she could do about it. He just wanted to stop all the clocks, he didn’t want to say goodbye to her – to let her slip away from him. Jordan was his angel.

Then without a second thought, he pushed open the door to leave the common room. Alexander knew that he had to hold on and just be strong – to keep his mother proud. Everyday his love for Jordan may grow and it may hurt him to see her. But he would always be there for her as he had promised and never let go. It was then as he walked out of the common room, a person caught him from the corner of his eyes. Then he saw that it was the person that invaded his thoughts. “Jordan.” He whispered softly before going over to her and kneeling next to her. “What are you doing here?”

[jordan]

Jordan, what're you doing here? Jordan's head immediately rose. And he was there. Alexander. With his beautiful eyes. The one's that had comforted her more times than she could even begin to count. And her words were gone when her yes met his. She'd sorted everything out. It was all organized and ready to say. Until he looked at her. Her mind went blank, her throat went dry, and just like that she was a puddle of mush. How could the universe give someone that kind of power over another person? Jordan wasn't sure how it chemically made sense. But it was happening and there was nothing she could do about it.

She launched herself into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face in his cheek. He was so warm in her arms. Already he was beginning to fill her senses. But he couldn't let it control her. Jordan knew she had to tell him why she came. Or at least part of the reason. Also I'm In love with you, was something that could be left off. No matter how much she wanted to say it. She needed to talk to him about Grant. She needed his help to build up the courage to tell Grant they couldn't be whatever they were anymore. Maybe if she was strong enough to do that she could tell Alex the truth.

"Me and Grant talked," her voice was muffled against his skin, but she refused to pull away. Both out of needing comfort and just never wanting to let him go. "It didn't go well. I told him I needed to know what we are. That I can't play his stupid, childish game anymore. He treated me like he had me wrapped around his finger," He does to a certain extent, her mind couldn't help but add and she clung to him a little tighter at the thought, "Didn't really go the way I planned. I don't need him though. I just...I don't know how to tell him without him making me feel used. And I know you don't like him. And I know that you must tired with it. I'm just...I'm scared."

Scared of what though? Of being alone? Of losing Grant? No, definitely not that. Or that Alex was her only chance? Jordan knew it'd be impossible to love anyone like she loved Alexander Milano. The perfect friend. Caring. Compassionate. And an unconditionally loving friend. There was Jo one in the world like him. And Jordan was letting him pass by. She didnt want to lose him. And if she said what was truly in her heart she might. She bit her tongue to keep her heart's words at bay. Repeated, whispered I love you's. It was torture. She wanted to tell him everthing. But she couldn't, not even a little. She was such a coward. A little coward.

[Alexander Milano]

He looked down at Jordan and waited for an answer He still could not believe that she was sat outside his common room. Straight away his thoughts went to Grant ad rage seemed to fill him, but he tried to keep that down because he did not want to upset her. Alexander knew that he could not have it both ways and he would just have to settle with her in his life even though he wished that she could be much more. Before he knew it she had flung herself into his arms and he quickly wrapped his arms around her, she felt perfect there – he would have her there forever if he could, he knew that he was being selfish with such thoughts. Alex rested his chin on top of her head as if he was trying to calm her.

Then he listened to her simply say that Grant and her had talked and it made him almost see red again. It was something he still didn’t want to accept but he knew that there was no other way but to try to. Alexander listened to her carefully – god he did love her and yet he had been an idiot not admitting before she had become involved with someone else. Life was only how one made it and he felt like he had screwed his up already. Then he heard that Jordan was scared and that was something he didn’t like. “Everything will be fine piccola” He spoke softly as he kissed the top of her head. Piccola meant small one, it was what he called her when they were alone – it was just a nickname he had for her, just a little bit of his Italian heritage coming through. “I can tell him if you want, you have no idea how much I would do anything for you.” He said in a bit of a whisper.

Alexander knew that if he had the completed love of one Jordan Wakes then nothing else would matter and she would be the only thing he ever needed. Now he felt stupid because he knew what he wanted to say to her but he never would be able and it made him feel weak. “I wish I could give you everything you need Jordan you know that, but I know I can’t.” Alexander told her as he kept her in his arms. Nothing could move him from her even in the darkest hours. He trusted her completely; he would trust her with his life. People could not understand why he was such close friends with a Slytherin but he would just shrug his shoulders and say nothing. It wasn’t bad at all, it was just the tip of their friendship, he had never felt this way and he was no afraid to admit it to himself – he was just scared to tell her, though his mother had told him over and over again to simply tell her because she had wanted to meet the one that had stolen her son’s heart. But at the moment it was not too bad, he still had her in his life. "You will be alright. Won't you?" He said pulling away just slightly so he could look down into her eyes.

[jordan]

Jordan sniffled, smiling lightly as he called her piccolo. A nickname she would've hated if Alex hadn't been the one to give to her. And then he offered to do it for her. It was so simple. So easy. She could just say yes. And never have to talk to Grant again. But she couldn't. Not because she didn't want the easy way out. But because she needed to build the courage to tell Grant. So that she could build the courage to tell Alex the truth. That she loved him. That she needed him. That the only reason she'd ever been with Grant was that she was so scared of loving him and not receiving the same affection back that she needed to feel like there was someone else out there. But there wasn't. Alex was always there at the back of her mind. And even when she felt completely alone, there was Alex. In front of her or even in her head. He was like a drug, as cheesy and cliche as it sounded to her. "I should tell him. The closure would be nice. And..." the words died off in another failed attempt at bravery.

I wish I could give you everything you need Jordan you know that, but I know I can’t. His words made her wonder if he knew. About her feelings and everything. Or if it was just some abstract concept of friendship and caring about each other. But it made choke on a sob a little. His unknowing that he was everything that she wanted. And that he could give her everything she needed. Because all she needed was him. All she wanted was him. She needed those words. She needed to tell him. But the coward in her wouldn't let them flow. Fear and rejection spattered her thoughts and it took everything in her not to cling to him tighter and beg him never to leave her. And then he asked those words. You'll be alright. Won't you? And how the words wanted to tumble from her lips. She wanted to tell him the truth. All of it. Every word in her heart.
"As long as you're here. I'll always be alright," she answered, looking into his eyes trying to convey everything. She wanted him to see all the words she couldn't say in her eyes. That as long as he was with her nothing was as bad. That she loved him. And that she never wanted to let him go. And she tried with every ounce of her being to get those words to him in the only way she seemingly had left.

[Alexander Milano]

Alexander listened to her trail off, he would have loved nothing more than tell Grant and then give him a good old punch in the face for treating Jordan in such a way. He could never treat her in such a way; he would never forgive himself if he did. It was just when he thought of his name that it made him boil with anger, he was not quite sure when had all started but it had and he would not leave Jordan’s life without a fight. It was when he was with Jordan he would felt his best, the day didn’t seem the same when he didn’t see her, she made the loneliness disappear as cliché as it sounded. Alex would never let her go, nothing could replace her and there would never be a distance too far, he would go to her when she needed him and that was that. Jordan was a big part of his life and somehow he would make it through even if he would simply be her friend. Running a hand through his hair, he took a deep breath. “I will always be here for you; you are not getting rid of me even if you want me to go.” He chuckled as he smiled a little; he was just trying to reassure her.

Thinking a little, he became a little disheartened that maybe he would have to let go of the fact that Jordan did not love him like he wanted her to and as much as it pained him, he might have to try to move on. Deep in his heart he knew that he had to try and move on, the fairy tale was not going to happen and it made him want to scream out and punch something. Alexander felt a tear slip from his eye and he quickly brushed it away, he was not going to get emotional. Life would move on, he just did not know what it had in store for him, no-one could replace Jordan, he would happily be alone and wait for her forever, but he knew that it was not going to happen.

“Hey, everything will start to look for you love, I promise you.” He smiled as he looked down at her once more. “You just need to stand tall and own this place like I know you can.” Alexander grinned a little and gave a wink. His eyes twinkled as he thought about trying to cheer her up, he kissed her forehead fondly. If he could stay here forever, then he would quite happily. Now he knew that he needed to contact his mother again, he needed her wisdom she seemed have all of the answers.

[jordan]

Jordan's face fell as she watched a tear fall from his eyes and wipe it away. Before trying to fix her. Like it had never happened. He was so unselfish. Telling her it'd get better. And that she should own the place like he knew she could. And then he kissed her forehead and Jordan could just feel herself melt. It took everything in her to not let her knees wobble and she wasn't sure if it had showed through or not.
"I'm so lucky to have you in my life, Alex, I can never repay you for everything you've done for me." she couldn't help the words tumbling out and she couldn't stop herself when she stood on her tip toes to kiss him. But her attention caught quickly before it was to late and veered at the last second to kiss his cheek. It came out more as a kiss at the corner of his lip and she prayed he ignored it or didn't notice. She couldn't handle the rejection. Not now. Not when she felt like that.
"But I want to. And if there's anything I can do. I want to do it for you. I care about you...a lot." The words caught in her throat as she held back the urge to end it with 'that's what you do when you're in love'. She smiled brightly at him. Trying her best to be strong. To hold back certain words and let her cowardice keep her from saying other words. It was a small war in her head. And she really hoped it would be over soon.

[Alexander Milano]

Looking carefully down at Jordan, he just wanted to tell her how he felt and just get it out in the open, Alexander could tell from the look in her eyes that she wanted to say something to him, but she never would. He just wanted to listen to his heart and then there would be nothing for him to do – before she was out of his reach forever. Sometimes he did wonder if this was even worth it, watching Jordan love other people and he was forever dreaming about what about what could be. “You know I am not going anywhere, just stay in my life – that is all I ask, even if I stay in the background.” Then she kissed him but just on his cheek, he had almost thought for a moment that she was going to finally kiss him. This was getting out of hand now.

“You are the most important person in my life – just as important as my mother and sister. I will keep you safe, I care about you a lot more than I should.” He spoke carefully to her, Alexander was trying to give her hints, though he was not sure that it was going to work. He was at war with himself, and he was not sure which side would win out at the moment. What must he do to show his feeling for her? Alex just needed to get the courage to tell her. This was why he was not a Gryffindor because he could never be brave for something as important as this. Maybe one day he would tell her, he just hoped that it was soon.

“Right, how about we both go for a walk, I think we could do with it.” He grinned a little and then took her hand and led her down the stairs and away from the Ravenclaw tower. His mother had always said nothing could break him and who would have guessed that it could be this one female.

Alexander was dreaming of things that would drive him crazy, but for now he would continue this way if he had to. He then had a thought as they walked down the corridor, he took her in his arms and twirled her as if they were dancing and brought her back into his arms and looked into her arms. “I'll be there to comfort you, build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you...” He sang a little to her before laughing and grinning to her and stepping away.

[jordan]

He was saying all those things. Those things that made her love more and more each day. He was everything to her. Everything she wanted. The person who kept her going. And the more he etold her he cared, the more he kissed her as one would a friend, the more she touched him the harder it was becominig to keep it all inside. There was war, yes. There was cowardice, yes. But there was also something much deeper telling her that whatever may come it would be worth it. Her heart was telling her this. That if she tried she wouldn't have to sit there and wonder anymore. She would know whether it was meant to be or not. If Alex cared as much as he said he would never leave her over something like this. He would explain in his own caring comforting way why it would never work between them. He would give her the time and space that she needed to mend herself. And no doubt he'd be right back where he was. By her side.

Alex twirled her as if they were dancing. I'll be there to comfort you, build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you... and he stepped away. She couldn't question anymore. Anything, even pain, was better than not knowing what could be between her and Alex. The blond took a step forwrd and another and another until she was in front of her friend, looking up at him with scared, unsure eyes. She cupped his face slowly and softly in her smal hands and rose to heer tip toes. There was no going back now. Nothing she could do. A muggle quotation crossed her mind as her lips moved slowly towrds Alex's, 'It is better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't'. Those words were all she needed to kiss him. Softly. Gently. Like she'd always pictured. Nothing big or passionate. And nothing like kissing Grant. Just a soft, gentle kiss to tell him before she pulled away. Eyes threatening to spill over with tears as she looked to him.

[Alexander Milano]

He was only beginning to mess around because he wanted to distract himself from just taking her in his arms. Alexander just wished he could be a man and just accept everything he felt for her, but it seems the fates were openly mocking him, and had completely different plans for him. After her had twirled her, he had let her twirl away from him and he simply looked at her for a moment. Alex looked slightly confused as she approached him, but he still smiled looking down into her eyes. He saw something that he was not entirely sure it was but he still waited for her to say something or do something at the very least. What happened next just shocked him to his bones – she kissed him?! He could not believe it and he seemed to be in shock that he could not respond until she pulled away. Looking down at her once more, he saw that she was about to cry and something in him just seemed to uplift him at that point.

Everything around him seemed to disappear and without a second thought Alexander pulled her back into his arms and kissed her – pouring everything he felt for her into that one kiss before pulling away. He could not quite believe it, Jordan felt so close to him right now – it was what had been missing in his life. “Jordan before I even try to contemplate what has happened; I need to ask you, why did you kiss me?” Alexander pulled away for a moment to look at her and wait for the answer he needed to know, he needed to know what she was thinking so he could see everything. “You have no idea how long I have waited for that and I was such a fool for not doing anything before.” He spoke once more, he would not lose his spirit now – let live and all that, he would keep it together because he knew he was not alone.

[jordan]

It was the second kiss that stole Jordan's breath away. And if she never got it back it wouldn't matter. Because it was Alex. And they had kissed. No day dream could compare to it. The rush of feelings and electricity coursing through her body. For those few seconds everything had felt complete. It had felt right. She could barely hear his words through the sound of her blodd pumping through her ears. But they registered none the less. She let her words flow without thought or question. She let her emotions take control.
"I kissed you because I love you, Alexander Milano. And for so long I was so scared," small tears made their way slowly from her eyes down her cheeks causing a faint streak of grey from her make up to stain her cheeks, " I didn't think you'd love me back. And I pushed it down. I tried to run away from it. And I hid from it. I never wanted Grant. Ever. I just didn't think you wanted me. Not like that. Not like this," she stroked his cheekbone with a slender thumb, "And I'm so sorry you had to wait for that. I was just so scared. I didn't want to lose you. I was ready to just have you as a friend than risk losing you. I love you. Always have Alex. And I don't think I have enough words or time to tell you and show you how much." By now the tears were full force but she couldn't notice. She was to entranced with the boy in front of her and remembering his lips on hers.

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