A Child’s Gesture (Snape)

[Adam Snape]

Adam Connor Snape, age five, was not the type to brood, exactly. But he was, at the moment, a very uneasy little boy. Most of the time, he had a hard time sensing much at all about his father’s state of mind. Still, small children with a temperament like Adam’s were often especially attuned to whatever might be going on with their primary caretaker, and the dark-haired boy was no exception. He didn’t know why, or just what it was, but there was something wrong with his father. The man seemed… sad, or worried, or maybe he was sick. Whatever it was, Adam didn’t like it. Maybe there was something he could do to help?

He knew there wasn’t a long list of things he could do; he was sensible enough not to attempt anything elaborate just yet. Bringing his father an animal to play with, especially if it happened to be a snake, would, if anything, make things worse. Asking his father to read to him might help, but if Daddy was sick, it could be a chore instead of a fun thing, and Adam definitely didn’t want that.

And then he found it. It wasn’t the “perfect” idea; still wouldn’t help if his father was sick, but at least it wouldn’t ask him to do something he might not want to do right now, either. Obtaining some parchment and a quill, Adam very carefully (it was hard to write with a quill without making a huge mess!) wrote a short message to his father. Then, after putting away the things he didn’t need anymore, he went off to search for Snape.

[Severus Snape]

As it was the weekend, Snape needed to get away from the castle, for a change. And so, here he was, in Spinner’s End, trying his very best to unwind a little bit. But how could he unwind, in the present situation? He was doing his best to help Sam get better, and she hated him for it.

Granted, there wasn’t really anything else he could do, at the moment; after talking to Eloise, he had fully realized that, yes, anorexia is, first and foremost, a mental issue. And so, he’d done the right thing by taking her to see Ellie. But Sam didn’t see it. And probably wouldn’t, for quite some time, if she ever did.

Marking wasn’t going very well; his head was too filled with the possibilities of what would happen if Sam got any worse. Well, that and figuring out spells that would keep track of Sam’s eating habits, and if she were purging. Which was another thing that was worrying. Even if she ate, she was going to try to throw it up again.

But he couldn’t be thinking about things like that, now; Adam had come into the room. He pulled a smile onto his face as the young boy entered.

“Everything all right, Adam?” he asked, slightly concerned. At the moment, he was prone to thinking the worst.

words: 225
tags: Adam
notes: whee, template
lyrics: "Why Not Me?" - Within Temptation
graphics: Insane

[Adam Snape]

For a moment, Adam fixed his daddy with the gaze that could have been so much like that of the man believed to be his biological father, if it weren’t for the warmth in that look. That, and there was never any real intention to tear down any shields someone had built up; he just wanted to make sure the people he cared about were okay. If he found out otherwise, he’d do everything in his power to help them. Well, anything that did not involve hurting people who didn’t deserve to be hurt. Even at five, though he wouldn’t have been able to explain this to anyone and did not yet fully understand it himself, he had a strong sense that the innocent should not suffer. This was nearly always what it meant if he said that something wasn’t fair.

“I’m all right.” He knew something was wrong; he just didn’t know its nature. He might have been able to guess at it a little more if he’d been a little older, but for all his relative skill at discerning how other people were feeling, his insights into their character and motivations were still those of a small child. The little boy did not yet know how much parents often hid from their children in order to remain strong for them, or just how much his father refused to allow the world to see.

Carrying his parchment carefully, Adam walked over to the man and, without another word, handed him the note that he had written. There, in handwriting that was rather messy but still impressive for a small child, were five simple words.

”Daddy,
I love you.
Adam”

[Severus Snape]

Well, at least his adopted child was all right, and thank goodness he wasn’t old enough to really understand what was going on with Sam. Snape did not know if he would have been able to find the words to explain to the boy just what was going on, why his older sister thought that she needed to hurt herself in order to impress her father.

The truth was, Snape was proud of Sam’s accomplishments, but that pride in his child was overshadowed by the worry he felt for her health and safety. He knew that she could have achieved all the results that she had been so desperate for on her own, but she simply didn’t see that.

The professor was brought out of his thoughts by the parchment that Adam handed to him. He had been expecting the small child to have brought him a new drawing, wanting to be praised on how detailed it was, for a five-year-old’s picture, but what met his eyes penetrated deep through his walls, nearly breaking them down.

He reread the five words on the small piece of parchment, so obviously meant to make him feel better that it nearly brought tears to his eyes. As it was, he sank to his knees in front of Adam and, in a rare show of physical affection, pulled the boy into his arms.

“Thank you, Adam,” he murmured, pulling away from the small boy to look at him, affection shining in his dark eyes. “I …,” he trailed off. It was almost foreign to him, those words. Sam almost never … allowed that sort of talk, even though he loved her dearly, and, well, his parents had never really said that sort of thing to him. He’d loved Lily, and he’d loved Ciara, and now he loved his children. But it was still hard for him to say the words.

But, at this point, Adam was truly his son, and the child needed to know how his father felt. He had been too standoffish with Sam, and look what had happened with her. Taking a deep breath, Snape whispered to his adopted child, “I love you, too, son.”

words: 364
tags: Adam Snape
notes: he SAID it!
lyrics: "Why Not Me?" - Within Temptation
graphics: Insane