.no change or cost .open.

[Gwen Lawrence]

Being sat around the lake was something she enjoyed doing, more so on an evening when she knew the students would not be out and about on the grounds since it was rather chilly in Scotland. But Gwen was smart enough to be able to cast a warming charm so she was fine. It was just the view she loved the most. The night was a clear night but with a chill in the air - resulting in Gwen wearing her dark blue jeans which is very rarely wears, a long light blue top and jacket complete with a rather warm robe given to her by a close friend for her birthday just passed. There was something that was just relaxing about sitting by the lake and getting lost in her thoughts - her head was so full, people would get very lost within it. Looking around at her surroundings, her gaze moved towards the castle in the distance, her home and the place she worked - she not have it any other way, even if the students did manage to drive her insane at least once a day. There was nothing she would change about her life at the moment.

The type of mood she had been in today while teaching had been a playful one. The classes she taught had been eventful and she was able to have a laugh with her students since they did not actually brew any Potions today but just stuck to the theoretical side of the subjects. A student had even had the nerve to say they liked her much more when she was relaxed and not as strict. Her response had been along the line of -"If you don't try to blow a hole in my way, I might consider smiling more." Gwen just grinned at the thought, she was quite sure that the students did not know what she was like when she was not teaching. She was a completely different person. Gwen knew that her profession was a dangerous one and she had to be a completely different person in the class since she had to be able to see if a Potions was going wrong and cause serious harm to anyone.

To say that she had several sides to her was an understatment - but to the people she was closest with, they knew the real her and she would not change that for the world. They had only ever been one person other than her sister she had shown every side of her and he left. Without her sister Emma, she would not know what she would have done with herself, it was strange how life turned and could throw anything at someone, but she just took it with a pinch of salt. Gwen had found out during her early adulthood that she could not have children and there was no magical cure. She had grown use to the idea and there was nothing much she could do about it - that much she knew, so she was happy to consider some of the students the children she would never have. But she did sometimes think of how she would never have anyone call her mother but only Aunt Gwen or Professor. It was sometimes hard to deal with - but the person she was, she was not going to let anything get her down in such a way - tehre was nothing that could be done to change it. Coming out of her thoughts, she took hold of the book that had been her hand and started to read the page she had been on before she had been distracted.

[jordan]

Jordan wandered the courtyard of the castle. Her mind was distracted. School had started to take a harsh toll on her. Especially with the animosity she was feeling towards her father, a man she had class with that day. Luckily, Jordan had potions afterwards. Time with Professor Lawrence was always nice. Her father was friends with potions master, Jordan had always wanted them to date. She was a nice woman. A little strict in potions. But such was to be expected with how dangerous being lax could be in such a class. But when she was happy, or when Jordan had a few moments alone with her, she was the nicest woman that Jordan had ever met. Sometimes she found herself hoping to be like the Potion's Master when she had finished growing up. That was unlikely though given the type of child Jordan was and she feared she might be just the same into her adulthood. It wasn't an idea the young Slytherin enjoyed.

Twirling the umbrella in her hand, the blond continued to wander aimlessly, paying no attention to where feet carried her as her thoughts continued on. Jordan was sure she'd made the type of connection with Gwen that she did because of her own issue with her mother. The woman didn't like who Jordan was. And more so, that her father accepted that she was that way. More than once her mother had tried to take her away from her father so that she would come live with her. She'd learn to be a proper lady. Jordan couldn't but scoff at the idea. If anyone had no room to talk it was the woman who had a child with her boyfriend and then left her boyfriend for another man. Jordan didn't ever want to be like her mother. Her mother was more of a person to shove the girl out and then just pay for her. Never did her mother ask her about school. Her goals. Her feelings. Her friends. And even if it had the potential to be annoying, boys. But Gwen did. Gwen always asked how she was doing, even if her response could only be a quick answer. If Jordan had a choice in who her mother had been she would've begged to have Gwen. But sadly that isn't how it works.

With a heavy sigh, she collapsed on the edge of the lake closest to the castle. Her feet had carried her here with no real intent but to sit and zone out. Thinking about how Jordan wished things in her life had gone a little more right. A little better. And more so, the way she wanted it. But she knew that life didn't work that way. And the only way to get what he wanted out of life would have to be done herself. The only person who can make a real change in their lives is themselves. And Jordan didn't want to. It sounded hard and confusing. It sounded aggravating. She just wanted something to go good, just once.

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[Gwen Lawrence]

The book she was reading was about the lastest advances in Potions, something she had to be kept informed about since she did want to the best in her profession if she could be. But Gwen knew that she could only do the best she could and she knew that she was good at her job and the subject she loved the most. The current chapter she was reading, was about which cauldron was the best for generic Potion making and she just found herself rolling her eyes. It was a simple subject that even non Potions masters knew. Some people could truly be a bit dim, but that was the wolrd and everyone was different in what they thought and how they saw the world. Gwen knew that it was not a friendly place in her eyes and there was not much that could be done about it. She had fought in the war to try and make it a better place. People could argue that it was not her war to have fought in, but she argued back that it was her home, friends and family getting hurt, that she would not sit back and watch the people she loved getting hurt. Gwen was just thankful that it was over, the generation could have there peaceful time, but there would always be a Dark Lord ready to rise and cause horror in the world.

Gwen knew there was one person of the younger generation that she wanted to have peace - she thought of this young female as the daughter she could never have. Jordon Wakes. The daughter of her dear friend and sometimes the pain in her backside when he was in a teasing mood. Jordon was a complex character, that much she knew - but Gwen had grown to know the girl and that she was who she was. Gwen did not want her to change at all. Yes she was a Slytherin and they are considered evil, but Jordon could not do anything wrong in her eyes. She smiled fondly at the thought at the younger female. Sometimes it made her sad that she would never have her own daughter to be close with, but maybe she had been blessed with Jordon entering her life. Gwen knew of Jordon's wish for her father and herself to be together, but they did not have any romantic feeling for each other, they were just close friends - you could even say that they were best friends and they did flirt rather badly with each other. Gwen just shook her head at the thought of her friend. Her life was getting more and more interesting, that much she knew.

Swiftly she was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a rather loud sigh. Getting to her feet, it could possible be a student and it was her duty to be a willing listener if they wished for it. As she took a few short steps, she could see that it was the person she had just though about. Looking at the look on her face, she could see she was troubled once more. A sad look appeared on her face for a moment. Kneeling down for a moment. "Jordon, is everything alright?" She asked concerned. Her maternal instincts kicking in the moment she saw the younger female. They always did when she saw her, a part of her did wish that Jordon was her biological daughter. Gwen knew that she should not form such attachments with a student but it did not affect her in classes.

[jordan]

Jordan looked up into the calm, comforting eyes of Gwen Lawrence. The only real woman female figure in her life. She was beautiful, looking much younger than her actual age. Of which Jordan didn't know but she assumed it was in the late-30's early-40's area. That didn't matter to Jordan. What mattered to Jordan was that the woman was here and she could feel better. Gwen could always help her. She was just such an amazing woman. It surprised Jordan that she wasn't a mom yet. Not that it bothered her. Having a child would distract Gwen's attentions from her more than she'd like. And she needed Gwen. Gwen was her mother. No matter what. Gwen was the closest thing to a mother that the girl would ever have.

"I dunno," she answered truthfully with a shrug, "I mean, there's nothing big going on. Just the normal thing with Grant. And um...dad's got a girl... thing. I dunno what she is but she's a distraction." She knew it was wrong to be unhappy at her dad. He was just being happy. Getting a life. Moving on. But Jordan wished that would've happened after she'd left Hogwarts. When she didn't have to see him everyday. And especially when she could ignore the woman's age. She just... she didn't like her. Not that Jordan even knew the girl but she'd decided that she didn't like the woman. Not at all.

"And I just...Gwen I wish you were my mom," Jordan sighed with a laugh, "You sure you couldn't be with my dad. He's got those little glasses. And he's smart. Plus, you'd get to live with me. Please, Gwen!" By this time she was somewhere between laughing and crying.

Truth is everything seemed wrong. She knew it wasn't that. That some kids had it much worse than her. But it seemed like everything was going wrong. And she jut wanted it to all go back normal. Even if normal meant her boyfriend- I mean, ex-boyfriend- was being an arse. Dropping her umbrella to the ground, she leaned towards Gwen, wrapping her arms around her waist and burying her head in Gwen's shoulder. "I'm just confused."

[Gwen Lawrence]

Gwen watched Jordan carefully and she felt her break at the sadness she felt coming off her. It was a side very few saw of the yound Slytherin, she was sure of it. It showed just how fragile she could be. A small smile appeared on her face when the younger female looked up at her. When Jordan finally replied to her question she just listened very carefully and she did not interrupt until she was finished. Then it was when Jordan mentioned her father's new lady, she could not help but smile just a little but she quickly let it fade. JD was a very close friend to her and if their feelings towards eachother were other than purely platonic, then maybe a relationship would have developed. But they were just very close friends with a hint of sexual tension thrown into the mix and mild flirting here and there. Gwen tried to think of what to say to Jordan about the situation, it was quite a lot for her to take in at the age she was, so many conflicting emotions and hormones.

"Just give her a chance sweetheart. You know she may even be nice, but I know for a fact that it will not change anything between us." Gwen spoke softly to Jordan, a motherly smile on her face. "You know that your father and I are just friends and that is all it will ever be." She spoke, she knew that Jordan knew this, but she did mention it. "Your father and I see each other everyday and even if he does have a new woman in his life, I shall not let hom become to distracted." She chuckled a bit, before looking down at Jordan and seeing how small she seemed at the moment.

"Jordan, you are the closest I will ever have to a daughter. You know you can come to me for anything at all." She spoke. "And since you are the daughter I can never have, it means that you will always have my divided attention, even if in a few years you decide you don't want it and hate me completely." Gwen told her, her eyes twinkling for a moment.

Wrapping her arms quickly around Jordan as she hugged her, she was a little worried about her and would tak to JD about her later. "Don't let anything confuse you, somethings are better forgotten." She said quickly looking over the top of the girl's head, becoming lost to a point in her life that seemed another lifetime ago before bringing herself back to reality. "Everything will be better in the morning and if not maybe a bit clearer." She spoke.

[jordan]

Jordan nodded into Gwen's shoulder. It didn't make it go away. No only time and acceptance would do that. But Gwen's words began to ease the confusion in her brain. Well, some of it at least. She hadn't told her about Alex. But to be fair, she was having a hard time admitting to herself that she was in love with the her best friend. But Gwen was right, she should give this girl a chance. And she'd always have Gwen, legal mother or not.

"I wish my mom was more like you," Jordan laughed, lightly, pulling herself away from Gwen. Not because she wanted to but because any longer and it might've been awkward if someone stumbled upon them, "She never really thinks about me like you do. And she doesn't help me like you do." It wasn't an angsty statement, just an observation of things that Jordan considered facts. Jordan did hold resentment towards her mother though and maybe that's what made her tone waver when she said it. In truth, Gwen was the only real example of a mother like figure she had. And maybe that's why Jordan was so attached to her. Gwen cared about her and her well being. Not how she acted (well, she did care but of course Jordan was a teenager and it's hard to control that) or what she wore (as long as it was appropriate). But she'd never tried to turn Jordan into something she wasn't like her own mother had.

"Teenager angst," Jordan laughed, sniffling lightly and trying to wipe the last of whatever kind of tears from her eyes and face, "We're just filled with it. I don't understand how you can work with that much craziness. I can't even handle my own crazy. I can't imagine doing it everyday to a ludicrous amount of kids. It's suprising you haven't gone insane yet." Jordan chuckled lightly and looked over at Gwen with a smile.

[Gwen Lawrence]

“I promise you that things will start to look up and everything will turn around for you.” Gwen spoke in a soft tone of voice that she only had for Jordan. “And your father does deserve to be happy. If this new woman is his life does not turn out to like you; let’s just say mama bear will flare up.” She laughed and gave a small wink to the young Slytherin. “As I said before and I will say again. You are the daughter I will never have; you keep me proud of whom you are becoming…” Gwen trailed off for a moment. “Even if you are a Slytherin.” Gwen nudged her a bit; a rather large grin was on her face.

Jordon did often have Gwen worried because of the way she often acted in classes or with her boyfriend. It killed her sometimes to watch her, but there was nothing she could do about without over stepping her place. She was not her biological mother. She hated to have to take a step back, no matter how much she wanted to step in and keep her safe and away from all the hurt in the world. But as long as Jordan knew that she was not alone, then that was all she could do. It was being there when she needed her the most. Just as her own mother had been when she needed her. That was something Gwen missed about the most; it was her mother even though she had been gone from the world for such a long time.

“Who says I am not already crazy from you lot.” She chuckled once more. “But on a serious note, I enjoy my job, even if it involves spotty children that want to try prank me and drive me insane at every waking hour.” Gwen spoke fondly. Even though the job was a tough one and sometimes could push her beyond her limit, she would not let any of the negatives bring her down. She loved her job, even if she asked like sometime she didn’t. Gwen would not have accepted the job if it was not something she wanted to do. But she did miss her family back in the states, to see her nieces more often than she did not – that was something she missed. But on a more positive note, they were coming to visit her during the holidays and hopefully she could arrange for them to see the castle. That was something she was going to have to clear with the headmaster. “So Jordan, what are your plans for the rest of the day?”

[jordan]

"Hey! Only half of us are spotty. And you teachers drive us just as insane. I've got your papers and Dad's papers. And then McGonagall's. You guys should get together and figure it out, I don't know if I've slept more than a couple hours per night from all of this homework," Jordan joked smiling at her teacher and, for lack of a better word, mother, "I'm probably going to wander around and think through some things. Maybe see dad. Or Alex. Not Grant though. What about yourself? Any men I need to interrogate?"
Jordan's relationship with Gwen was very natural. It was smooth sailing when speaking with each other. Jordan didn't keep secrets from the woman, knowing that Gwen would do her best to help her. And Jordan wished she could offer her the same support. One thing that was different in their relationship. The only way Jordan could really help was telling her how much she appreciated her and cared about her. But there are issues only time and experience can give you answers to and sadly Jordan had none of those things to use as reference. But she could ask about here. How she was? What she was doing? Just offering her care and affection like any good daughter should do.

[Gwen Lawrence]

Gwen just raised one eyebrow and smirked a little at the comment Jordan threw back at her. “Well if you all actually decided to learn rather than copy a book word for word, I might slight off on the homework, but until that happens – not chance in hell little lady.” She grinned a little. “And as for men, I have not had a date since I dated my ex-husband. Wow that has been a while.” She thought to herself got a moment. “So no men in my life for you to interrogate, though I will let you know when it happens.” She smiled as she looked at Jordan.

“And as for you and the men in your life, there is one thing I can say to you and it will be this. We are stronger than they are.” Gwen winked before standing up straight. “Remember that you are a lot stronger than you think you are.” Gwen had always thought of Jordan of as a daughter and she hoped that would never change because she would be sure that she would be heartbroken. If Gwen ever did have a daughter by some mircale, then she would want someone like Jordan, but no-one could ever replace her in her eyes. “Right, so how is your school work coming along, anything I need to know?” She asked, enquiring into all aspects of her life, it was something she normally did.

[jordan]

She listened intently to Gwen. Smiling as Gwen asked her about her schoolwork. This wasn't an uncommon occurance. And if it hadn't been for Gwen always asking her Jordan might not have ever gotten a tutor. This nice 5th yer Hufflepuff a year above named Gil. Jordan was pretty sure school would've killed her if it weren't for that boy.
"Actually," she reached into her bag and pulled out her potions textbook, opening it to the page, "I had a question on this," a black painted finger pointed to the Wolfsbane potion. "Daciana cel Rau has been helping me with it. But I don't quite get it. Like...can you make less strong batches for those hardly affected and stronger doses for those more affected? It's really been bugging me because there's not much on it but how to make it and what it does. But it doesn't tell me why it does what it does or how. And that's what I'm really looking for. Now I'm not asking you to tell me. But if you had some resources I could use..." Switching to academic mode wasn't that uncommon for the two and it was nice to get some one-on-one help from her teacher, "I've scoured that library, the parts I can get to anyways, and there's nothing. If there's a list of books I could order or if I need to go to the restrcited section this would be helpful."