all of my memories lead me here *open*

[darren]

Darren stood on the stoop of his "house". It was more of a run down shack but he hardly ever spent time there so to him it didn't really matter how it looked. An opened beer bottle sat beside his left foot and a cigarette was clenched in his teeth. He was flipping through pictures. He seemed to find himself doing that more and more. He would sit on the stoop of his "house" in the cool of the night, chain smoking, and idly sipping a beer or two while looking at pictures from before. Before he'd hardened himself. Before he ran away from Gwen. Pictures from when he was still with her. When they were happy. Truthfully, they'd always been happy. Darren had just been...he'd been fickle. He wanted to run away for some reason. He was sure it had to do with that muggle Fred or Freud, whatever his name might be, and his psychological theories. But that was to easy an escape. And each day Darren had found himself putting himself on trial more and more. He was his judge and his jury. And he was very clearly convicting himself.

He'd though about going back many times. He knew where she worked, an upside to working at the ministry. And he knew what shops to find her at. But every time he'd follow the urge, he'd find himself staring at her with this big ball of guilt in his stomach that threatened to eat him from the inside out. And he'd leave. Darren just couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't just go in an ruin her life. Break everything down and bring her into his pit of damnation and darkness. So he contented himself too look at moving photos of them. Of her. With that sparkle in her eyes and that smile that made his knees go weak like he was a 13 year old school girl. He'd never forget her. But he really hoped that she could forget him.

[/blockquote]

[Gwen Lawrence]

Gwen was walking down one of the long streets that belong to the Wizarding world of Britain, she had just been to see a family member that had not been very well lately – namely her great aunt Isabelle, she had been a strong influence in her life so she would often keep in contact with after all she moved to England a long time before she had even had the idea. Today she was dressed in a royal blue micro pleat dress and once again wearing a pair of heels. Today they were a pair of light grey, patent pumps and a long grey wool princess coat, her bag was a simple clutch back. Her hair was flowing freely since it was the weekend and she wasn’t teaching. People often told her she looked elegant and she would sometimes just laugh because she didn’t feel it, but she want to feel good within herself and she did, but sometimes a part of her knew that she dressed so well because she hoped that maybe one day she would just pass by her ex-husband. Gwen had not seen him since he had left her out of the blue and every so often she would find herself thinking about him. It was normal for her thoughts to slip to him at least once a day even though they had been divorced for a good few years now.

Now she was walking down a street that reminded her of the type of house they shared when they had been married and it caused her to stop and simply look at one of them. Gwen had sold her marital home because she could no longer live there and it had hurt her to do so but she didn’t think she could get over her divorce if she didn’t let the memories go. She was glad that she had been offered the job at Hogwarts it had come at just the right time she had needed and it helped keep her mind off him - to allow her to heal slowly. The students could often be the lifeline she needed even if they managed to drive her insane every once in a while.

The house that had caught her eye had actually looked a tad bit rundown and it would have been the type of project she would have loved to take up – to make it a home. Little did she know that in fact her ex-husband was in that very house, and then she noticed that it was an old friend that lived here. A slight smile came to her face and she hadn’t seen them in such a long time – it must have been years. Walking up the short path, she was not sure what she would say, but she hoped that they would not hate her for not seeing her in such a long time. Taking a deep breath she knocked on the door and waited for an answer she thought she would not be very surprised.


tagged. Darren
outfit. click.
notes. none
credits. carolyn's sweet blasphemy *

[darren]

The knock on his door pulled Darren from his very saddened reverie.Can you get the door? his roommate yelled and promptly apparated away. Not really leaving much room for Darren to argue. "This is why Unspeakables shouldn't live with each other!" he mumbled, climbing to his feet, beer clenched in his fist and walking through the house, back door open, in an attempt to air out the cigarette smoke. But it really didn't do much. It was more for show. The pictures were set gently on the table by the front door. He took a drag of his smoke and a long gulp of his beer before opening the door.

"If you're selling something..." And the words died in his throat. There she was. In the flesh. In front of him. He couldn't run or hide from her. He couldn't pretend like it had never happened. She was there. Looking just as beautiful as when he met her, just as beautiful as the day he married her, and just as beautiful as the day he left. "Gwen?" She had gotten older. As had he. But it was difficult to tell on her. Time has faded his hair to a silver color all around and his eyes had hardened. Not to mention the beer and cigarette clenched in his hands. But she was the same.

Same smooth skin. Same beautiful hair. Same entrancing eyes. Time had added a few wrinkles here and there. But it was unnoticeable to Darren's still shocked eyes. He'd been running from this moment for years. And now it was here. And he had no escape. No plan. Nothing but apologies and the broken man he had become every day without her. Whether he liked it or not Gwen was engrained in every fiber of his being. He knew he had hurt her badly. And he had no real idea of how bad though. But he still wanted to take her into his arms, kiss her, and pretend like none of this had ever happened. Instead, he leaned against the door looking just as broken as he though he did.

[/blockquote]

[Gwen Lawrence]

Gwen waited for the reply, maybe they were not in, but she would leave a note and let them know where she worked. It would be nice to see them again, it would be nice to get in contact with a few of the people she knew from a few years ago. She waited just a little longer when she heard movement and someone was obviously coming to the door – she was now hoping that they hadn’t moved, she had just thought of that small fact. It was the sound of the clicking of the door that brought her thoughts back to where she was. A smile rested on her lips as she heard the person speak – that was until she heard the voice and she looked upwards and saw who it was.

"Darren?"

Stepping back a few paces as if she had been burnt, she could not believe her eyes. It was him, the one that had broken her heart and ripped her life into so many pieces. It was when he said her name, she felt hot tears roll down her face and she was shaking her head. How could he be here? Of all the places he could be he had to be there. The pain she had thought she had got over came rushing back. Gwen looked up and saw that he looked a lot older; his hair had started to turn silver. “Why did you have to be here?” She almost shouted as she looked at him, the tears still flowing down her face. “Why did you leave?” It was the next question that had come out of her mouth. She knew that she should turn around and just leave, but something was preventing her from walking away like he did all those years ago. Gwen wrapped one arm around her body as if to keep herself from falling apart.

She angrily wiped away a few tears and took a small step forward. “Why Darren, after all this time, why did you have to be in this one place? Don’t you know how much you killed me the day you left our marriage, our lives together? I thought you had loved me, I guess it was the small fact we could not have children, couldn't have the family you wanted.” Gwen spoke in a whisper, before looking down at the floor again, she felt like her heart was breaking all over again, but this time she saw him but she had never stopped loving him which was the worst part of it all.



tagged. Darren
outfit. click.
notes. none
credits. carolyn's sweet blasphemy *

[darren]

The flood gates broke. Like he'd expected them too. He didn't think she'd let him get away with it, it wasn't for lacking of hoping though. So many why's. So much accusation, true accusations but still accusation. He couldn't respond here. Not on the front steps like some sort of trashy couple. "I'll answer all your questions. Any question you have. Just come inside. Where it can be private." He stomped his cigarette out and opened the door wide to allow her entrance. She could simple enter, take the seat closest to the door, and leave when she wanted to or whenever she was ready.

It was going to be hard. He couldn't lie to her. He wouldn't. "Please come in. Have a seat. Some tea or coffee. And we can talk. Calmly." he tried to hide the beer behind his back but it was pretty clear that she'd already seen it. Got it wasn't even 2 in the afternoon and he was drinking. He turned on his heels, pointing to the living room and wandering to the kitchen to get something to drink for them both and slightly to clear his head. Gwen was here. In his house. And he knew it was unlikely that he'd ever get her back. And that wasa setting in and beginning to hurt. Badly. And much more than he had expected.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Gwen Lawrence]

She could not stop shaking as she looked at the man that had turned her life upside down – everything had change the day he left and she did not even know why. Gwen felt like she could not capture her breath, no matter how she had tried. She ran her hand through her hair as she looked to him and then she quickly looked away. Part of her was hoping the it was a horrible dream and that she would wake up, but she still wanted the answers she had been waiting such a long time for. Quickly she wiped a tear away that was falling down her face – she felt like to couldn’t breathe, that her heart was breaking all over again from simply seeing him again, that was not how she saw her life. Gwen had thought she would be with him for the rest of her mortal life and beyond that.

Listening to him and what he was saying, she looked up at him once more. She wanted nothing more than to just kiss him and forget everything, but the thing was she would never forget and it would not something that would fully heal. “I am only doing this for myself, I need answers and only you can give them to me.” She spoke as she stood with a straight back, this was going to be a lot harder than anything she had ever done in her life. Gwen had noticed the drink he had been hiding but she simply looked away, it was none of her business what he did anymore. She looked around the home and saw the photos of Darren and herself and it felt like another stab in her heart, she took in a deep breath and followed him.

Looking around the room, she then took the seat that was closest to the door – just so she could leave if everything became too much for her, it took everything she had just to sit in the same room as he was. But Gwen was not one to back down, she never had been. “Why?” It was a simple question but it spoke so much and she knew that he knew what she was asking. Gwen looked down at her hands for a moment before looking back at him. “You took everything from me when you left, and you didn’t leave a hint of why you left me? Is it because you didn’t love me? Was there someone else? I mean if there was then I could of got over that but you left without a note.” She spoke slowly, she looked to the door for a moment and almost considered leaving, but she wanted to know why he had left and maybe it would finally give her the closure she needed to try and get on with her life, to no longer feeling so weak – to maybe even fall in love again. Though she knew that would be hard, if not impossible.

“Please…” She spoke trying not to break down. “I need to know, to move on because I can’t… I feel so weak and…”



tagged. Darren
outfit. click.
notes. none
credits. carolyn's sweet blasphemy *

[darren]

There were so many questions she asked. And so many more unspopken one's that needed answering. And none of their answers were going to be easy. He took a seat across from her, looking at her sadly as he thought abouot it. As he watched her cry and hurt, only he wasn't man enough to face it all those years ago. That day when he left without a trace and no answers to give her but stupid I'm sorry's that would've sounded hollow and meaningless.
"I never meant to hurt you. I want you to know. I guess I thought that if I just left...that it would hurt less for both of us. I wouldn't have to see you cry and you wouldn't have to watch me wawlk out that door. Clearly, it doesn't matter that I did it that way 'cause it's biting me in the arse anyways. I wanted to tell myself that it was because we couldn't have a family. And it was easy. To convince myself that the resosn was that. It wasn't. It didn't matter, there were more options available to us. I just didn't want to listen. I was seeing a lot of dark things then. You know that as well as I Gwen. My job," the one he could tell her nothing about, "Demanded it. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I could never tell you what happened. That I could never confide in you. I'm sorry that my work did that to you and to us. I just though..." he ran a hand through his shortly cropped silver hair, sighing as he looked at her, "You deserved someone who could tell you about their day. People who didn't disappear at all hours of the day and night because work demanded it. You needed someone who didn't have to be married to their job. I just couldn't be that guy. And I didn't know any of those things then. Now I do. I hit bottom, where all that exists is work and thinking of you. I tried to find you. Tried to find the words to explain myself. Some how get up the courage to come talk to you. I never could. You looked happy. You didn't need me coming in and ruining that. As long as you were happy some part of me could be too. It was never you Gwen. And I mean that no matter how hollow it sounds. It wasn't you. It ws my fault. I did wrong. I ruined everything. And I broke someone so perfect and amazing. Someone so full of lilfe. And I can never tell you how sorry I am for that."

[/size]

[Gwen Lawrence]

Gwen was struggling to look at him as he spoke about the day he left her; it was hard to listen to him after all this time. Seven years together had obviously meant nothing to him and even the long friendship before that. But that did not mean that she still didn’t love him somewhere in her heart, she still wore her wedding ring, though it was her right ring finger now but people didn’t question nor did they even know some of them. It had been a very long time that she had last seen him and much had changed in her life. She was now a Professor at Hogwarts and had gained an entire new family and friends that loved her for who she was, but she still hadn’t found anyone to replace the love that had been of her life. She interrupted him for a quick moment and almost struggled to speak. “I would have rather you had left me when I was there, then I could have attempted to move on, see someone else and heck even get married again. But I couldn’t, I blamed myself because my body could not give you the children we wanted.”

Then she trailed off as she listened to him once again, looking around she saw another photo of them both forever frozen in time. Gwen even had kept a few photos because she wanted to remember the happy times in her life – she was in the winter of her life. “Do you think so little of me that I wanted someone who told me what had happened with their day at work, if I did I would have never married you.” She stood up and paced a little, all that she felt like she could do was cry, deep within her heart, she knew that it was time to try and move on, the fairytale had ended years ago, but she still couldn’t move on, no matter how much she wanted to.

Gripping the mantelpiece of the fireplace, she took a deep breath with her back to Darren. It was still so hard to accept what he had been saying. Why did he have to go and ruin everything? Gwen still had never felt so alone as she did at this moment in time, but life was still moving on though she had no idea where she was going in her life. There may be a time when she would fall in love again, or maybe she would forever be in love in Darren. Part of her wished that she could turn back time and stop him from leaving, not go to work at the ministry that day. “If you could do it all again, would you actually tell me you were leaving me? To give the closure I deserved, because you have no idea how much I have blamed myself these past few years.” It was something she wanted to know. “And you do know drinking and smoking are bad for your health, especially drinking at this time in the afternoon.” She muttered a little.


tagged. Darren
outfit. click.
notes. none
credits. carolyn's sweet blasphemy *